Blindness
by yellowapples
Summary: Life after the blight for our favorite warden Elissa Cousland.


This was originally supposed to be part of a larger story about Elissa Cousland after the events of awakening. But my job, children, husband and life take up the majority of my time so I have been unable to give this story the attention it deserves. So I thought I would post this chapter just as is and maybe one day I can take the time to add all the other bits.

I own nothing here and have just borrowed the characters from Bioware.

* * *

The road was wet and cold but the general feeling from the group was positive as they trudged towards the Inn ahead. Anders whistling as if without a care and Elissa's malbari Balt up a head darting from side to side of the road to sniff and smell everything on their way, pausing ever so often to look back at Elissa with an excited bark and wage of his nubby tail. It filled Elissa with a feeling of contentment, something she had rarely let herself feel, not since after the lands meet, not since after all that had happened. Elissa shook the thought from her head and pulled her cloak hood more tightly around her head.

They had been traveling for most of the day, leaving the keep late in the morning, Elissa had been aware they would have to stop at the Inn for the night. Not that Elissa minded. The Inn was on the edge of small town near the Hafter River, run by an elder man and his wife and they served a honey mead that Elissa was fond of.

"You're not listening? Are you?" Anders voice broke her thoughts.

Elissa looked up at him from under her cloak in realization that Anders had stopped whistling and had been speaking to her. Anders laughed at this. "Nope, you weren't, not even a little"

"Sorry, what were you saying?" She replied apologetically.

"I was just saying, we should be there just in time for dinner. Nothing important"

"Oh, yes, I guess we will be" Elissa answered, putting her attention back to the road ahead.

"You have been awfully quiet this trip? Is everything alright?"

Elissa let out a sigh "yes, just a lot on my mind at the moment. I'm sure once we get to the Inn and I have a nice warm bowl of stew in front of me I'll be more myself"

Anders looked over at her, one eye brow raised as if he wanted to ask more but didn't and turned his attention back to the road and whistling.

They arrived to find the Inn all but empty. Two younger men were at a far table, from their appearance they appeared to have returned from hunting. The Inn owner was seated at the bar, he stood as they approach. Once Elissa was close enough he smiled as he recognized her face. "Back again are we!" He smiled widely.

"Yes, I was hoping for a room for myself and my friend"

"Of couse! Of course! " He replied, rushing around to the other side of the bar and opening the door to the kitchen "Ruby! We have some guest. Come see 'em up" he turned back to Elissa. "She'll just be a minute. " He smiled, looking over the two "No dwarf this time?"

"No, just the two of us and the dog"

"Ah, that's a shame. Ahhh here she is"

Ruby came though the kitchen doors with a wide smile to match her husband's. "Ah, Elissa! Nice to see you again! I'll just get you set up upstairs in the usual rooms." She said with a smile and motioned for the two to follow her up the stairs. "Argus, take the dog out back to the stables would you and get him settled" She called behind her at her husband "It's been a while since I've seen your face around here. Although I guess we only do get to see you when your warden business takes you to Denerim. You've decided to travel just in time it seems the weather has just been improving..." Ruby went on as she showed them up the stairs. Anders looked over and smirked at Elissa, nodding his head at Ruby as they followed behind and rolling his eyes around in his head. Elissa held in a laugh and shook her head at Anders, who only seemed to take this as encouragement as he began flap his hands as if they were mouths and roll his eyes. The smile disappears from Elissa's mouth and she stopped where she was, Anders stopped and turn his attention ahead to where Ruby was standing with her hands on her hips in front of a door.

"Right. Well then, here we are." Ruby said in a clipped tone, eyeing Anders with distaste. "Did you want me to bring up any warm water dear?" Turning her attention back to Elissa with a warm tone again.

"No, no thank you Ruby. I believe we will just get our things organized up here and then be down for something to eat" Elissa replied.

"I'll start getting it ready. " Ruby smiled and then headed back down, but not before shooting Anders a pointed look.

Elissa let out a breath that it seemed she had been holding before turning to give Anders a look.

"Oh please, as if it's not what you were think!"

As Elissa looked at him with his arms crossed and childish grin on his face she smiled. "Ah! There she is! I thought maybe she got left at the keep and just brooding grumpy Elissa came along" Anders said taking her chin in his hands so she would look up at him. He held her there for a moment looking into her eyes before she swatted him away.

"Common, let's get ready. I am suddenly starving and the smell of that stew is not helping." She said stepping back and turning to open the door to her room.

"Yes well, I think they do that on purpose you know" Anders replied turning towards his own door. "I think they see us coming and fan the smells of food into the room. They turn a nice profit off our appetites. Why do you think they asked about Oghren? With how much he eats and drinks they probably don't have worry about much after a one night's stay from him."

"Why do you think I left him at keep. " Elissa laughed before disappearing into her own room.

The room was small and modest with a simple bed with a quilted bedspread that Elissa assumed had been made by Ruby years ago. The sun had almost completely set and Elissa's stomach gave a loud growl of discomfort as she remembered how hungry she was. Throwing her cloak on the back of a chair and pack on her bed she turned and headed back down. As she came down the stairs she was met again by the toothy smile of the owner, why was it she couldn't never remember his name she wondered, Aaron? Aton? Arnold? Internally she shook her head at herself and gave a smile back to the man who was waiting for her at the bar. "What can I get ya after your travels?"

"A bowl of the stew for my companion and myself and a pint each of the honey mead if you still have it."

"Wonderful, I believe Ruby was getting that ready for you. Just take a seat dear and we will have it out to you in a moment"

Elissa smiled and turned to scan the room. The men still sat in the corner, busy talking to each other while hunched over their pints. Elissa had no want to make small talk so she walked to the table on the opposite side and pulled out her dagger to keep her hands busy as she waited, weighing back and forth in her hands.

"Ahem" The elder man cleared his throat, Elissa moved her hands from the table so he could place their drinks. "Food shouldn't be much longer" he said, standing idly by as if to say more.

"Oi, Argus! Another round over here" One of the men from the other side called and he nodded and hurried off.

Argus, Elissa mentally said to herself and returned to her dagger.

"Well don't you look inviting. Not looking for new friend today are we" Anders smiled as he sat down across from her. Elissa let out a little hmph in response but continued turning it in her hands. "What is going on with you Elissa? No sarcastic reply to my witty banter?" Anders said as he grabbed his pint and took a drink.

"I'm no different from usual" Elissa muttered.

"well, you are as moody as always, but since you told me about this trip you have been in more a mood then usual." Anders replied

"I have a lot on my mind, I told you that."

Anders looked her over as if trying to read he thoughts. "Are you sure this doesn't have to do with you having an argument with Zevran before we left?"

"And how would you know about that?" Elissa said finally looking up at him, narrowing her eyes.

"Oh got your attention did I? I didn't know of anything, just putting two and two together. You traveling without Zevran is like me without my staff, Ogrhen with a flask, Nate without his terrible attitude." Anders said with a smirk.

"Proud of yourself for that last one aren't you?"

"Very"

Elissa sighed "Yes Zevran and I got into an argument and it is weighing on me, but it isn't your concern"

"And this argument wouldn't have anything to do with our new arrangement would it?"

"If by arrangement you mean you and I taking a roll in the sheets a few times then yes."

"Oh Elissa, you wound me, and here I was in it heart and soul" He laughed with a wink. "I won't have to watch my back now will I? I would hate to have that assassin on my bad side."

"No, he just caught wind of it, maker knows how, probably while lurking in the shadows. I told him to mind his own business and that was the end of it."

Ruby came over delivering their stew and a loaf of bread "you two let me know if you need another bowl or two" She smiled and then headed off again.

Elissa pulled her bowl close and began to eat, happy to finally satisfy the growl in her stomach and to have a reason to put a stop to the current conversation. Anders didn't seem to want to press the issue further either, he too was making quick work of his meal. The two sat in amicable silence as they downed their bowls. "Another?" Elissa asked as she finished her last spoon full.

Anders nodded "I would hate for them to be too put out for the lack of Ogrhen here." He said with a laugh. "And see if they have another loaf"

Elissa stood and crossed to the bar where Argus was again sitting. "We'll get some more stew please, a loaf of bread and a few more pints" Argus nodded and went into the back. Elissa turn and leaned up again the bar, her eyes drifting to the door as it opened and middle aged man came in.

"Jarvis, join us" the men from the other side called the to the man "you look like you've had a long day"

the man held up a hand in greeting and smiled widely showing his hole filled teeth. "you wouldn't believe what a day it was. The girl was crying a snivelling the whole way. Begging me to reconsider" he shook his head with distaste.

"so you took your daughter in then did you?" one of the men replied.

"Had no choice" Jarvis sighed "couldn't have an unnatural thing like her in the house now could I, what would the neighbours think when she started lighting things on fire with her fingers or turned into some monster and ate the live stalk? No I took her straight to the chantry and handed her over to the Templars, they said they'd be taking her to the circle..."

Elissa could smell it before she saw it. Magic, it always seemed to leave the smell of static and copper in her nose and a metallic taste in her mouth. When she had first began traveling with Wynne and Morigan so long ago she hadn't known what it was, but after such a long time she had become accustomed to it and knew quickly when magic was being called upon almost as she would notice the glint of a dagger being drawn.

She turned her head towards Anders to yell at him to stop but it was to late, Jarvis was thrown through the air and into the wall nearest to him. The two men that had been seated were quickly on their feet brandishing their hunting knives and going straight to Anders. Elissa jumped in-between, the first man came at her, swinging his knife high above his head. Elissa ducked and moved deftly under his arm and behind, grabbing the raised arm with her and pinning it behind his back, placing her dagger at his throat with her free arm. "Stop there" Elissa ordered the other man who was approaching, he assessed the situation, eyes darting from Elissa's dagger to her face and stopped. "He attacked our friend! For no reason!"

"Oh I had plenty of reason! People like your friend there deserve much worse" Anders spat, Elissa looked over to him, his eye were shinning an eerie blue unlike anything she had seen before, his hand held facing up in a tensed claw like position and lightening was beginning to spark.

"Anders! Control yourself!" Elissa demanded. The man standing beside her made to move forward again, she turned her attention back to him and shook her head. "I will deal with him! Now, I will release your friend here, but that is the end of this" She looked towards Anders again "The end of this Anders! Do you hear me?!"

Anders eyes flashed to her, back to the men and then at her again. He glared angrily at her but shook his hands out and then stormed out of the Inn and into the night. Elissa released the man she had been holding, pushing him forward into his friend before quickly following out the door after Anders .

"Anders!" She yelled, she couldn't see him in the dark, but she could hear him trudging up the gravel path, he was making no effort to be silent. "Anders stop! Where do you think you are going?" She called again, quickening her pace. She could see his outline up a head, he was slowing. As she got closer she could see his tensed shoulders and his hands balled into fists.

"Just leave me alone Elissa" He snapped over his shoulder.

"Not until you tell me what that was Anders! Not until you tell me what just happened in there"

Anders stopped abruptly and turned, they were now only mere feet apart. "what happened in there! What happened? Did you not hear him? I know you did, the whole bloody Inn could! Talking about his daughter, like she was some livestock, like she was less than human because she was a Mage!" The area around them lit up, his eyes flashing the same blue again. "What do you think happened! I gave him what he deserved!"

"Anders! Calm yourself! You can't just go attacking people in Inn bars. The man was an ass, yes, but you can't just attack him. "

"Oh what do you know of it Elissa! Have you been cast out by your family before? Have you been shut out from society as an outcast. You don't know what its like for mages!"

"This is not the way to change things Anders. What is happening to you? There is something different here Anders, something is different in you, I can feel it"

"You can feel it" He laughed in a bitter tone "Don't think because we have shared a bed that you know me so well" he said harshly.

"Get back to the Inn" Elissa snapped back. He stood crossed armed, his eyes faded back to their own colour, but he still stood with a confrontational stance. "As your commander I am telling you to get back to the Inn, go straight to your room and stay there until I fetch you in the morning. We will discuss the rest of this then, when you have calmed down and are more yourself"

Anders made a noise of anger, but began to begrudgingly head towards the Inn. Elissa stood for a moment before following behind him, she would have to apologize to Ruby and Argus and probably spend a few more silvers for the trouble.

* * *

Sleep hadn't come easily for Elissa in some years and tonight was no acceptation. The event during dinner had left her feeling raw and exposed. When she had returned to the Inn Ruby and Argus were both shaken and upset. They had, at first, request she and he friend leave immediately as they couldn't risk upsetting there regulars and loosing the money they provided the Inn. As Elissa had expected though, the trouble was quickly forgotten as soon as she place a few more silvers on that table and slid them over to Ruby. "Well, I guess we can put this business behind us then, just see it doesn't happen again" Ruby sniffed, taking the silver and heading off behind the bar.

Now she lay in bed, hours later. The sun was beginning to rise and she had barley managed and hour or two of sleep. She rolled over with a sigh, staring above her, small glints of dusk lit up by the rising sun danced around the room. Anders concerned her, his lack of control, how he seemed propelled by anger the night before. She had taken Anders with her many times and he had never lashed out like that, usually when going for a drink he was the first she would choose for company with his easy going maner and quick wit. She knew that he despised the mistreatment of mages, as she did, but had never seen him attack an unarmed man before for it. She decided against wasting anymore time trying to sleep, pulling the covers off her she rose from bed and dressed.

* * *

Anders awoke to the but end of a dagger in his side, he grunted and rolled over only to have it prodded again, this time into his ribs.

"Well aren't you pleasant this morning" he groaned and rolled back over to face Elissa who was hovering over him.

"Its time to go" She said in a short stiff voice.

He cracked an eye open and looked to the window, the inky black stared back "its not even morning yet" he moaned, shutting his eyes again

"correct, it is not, but you'll excuse me if I don't care to see anyone when we go after last nights show we provided" she growled as she gave him another poke, this time with the toe of her boot.

Anders dragged himself from bed, far from quietly, letting Elissa know how unhappy he was with moans and grunts and he pulled himself together. Satisfied that he was up and getting ready she instructed him to meet her outside as she got Balt from the stables. Once she was clear from the room Anders took a moment, sat on the loan chair by the window and placed his head into his hands rubbing his temples. He head throbbed and he remember little from the night before. But had a good idea what had happened. After a moment to gather his thought he arranged his few things that were strew around the room and hurried downstairs and outside to meet Elissa.

She stood just outside the stables, Balt as always waiting by her feet. He looked up at Anders and snorted in distaste, as if he had been present for the events of the previous night.

"Ready to go then" Elissa said, not meeting his eye.

"Ready when you are" Anders replied, trying to keep a light tone.

"You're pretty chipper for the scene the you caused last night" Elissa snapped

"Oh, I'm sorry. We can't all be bitter and angry all the time as you are" even as the words left his mouth Anders regretted them. Elissa was one of his only true friends. She had stood up for him from the first day they met, before she even really knew him. She had given him a place to call home, friendship, and all she had ever asked for in return was to listen when it came to her command in the greywardens. But he was up early and grouchy, if she wasn't going to make the best of things after last night why should he both.

Elissa stopped, and narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm sorry Anders, but you have no idea what I have been through to make me who I am"

Anders knew better, but couldn't stop himself "what? loosing your family, forced into a life you never really wanted? Sounds all to familiar to me" he started walking again, leaving her clenching her fist behind him.


End file.
